2 Become 1 (Not About Spice Girls)

I was at a grocery store a while back when I found myself in their paltry little book section and decided to check out what was available. Mostly because I like looking at things like this, as there is often a good chance you will find something weird or something you didn’t know existed and it’ll expand your life and make your day a little better. This day was no exception. I spotted a book titled “Eggsecutive Orders” and picked it up. Then saw that along the top it said “A White House Chef Mystery.”

What. What was this. What had I just found.

I opened the book and found that not only was this the story of the White House Chef trying to solve murders around the White House, but also in the back of the book were several pages of recipes. Read the book. Make the food!

I came home and did some searching and found that this was just one in a series of books all with delightfully punny titles like “State of the Onion”, “Hail to the Chef,” and “Buffalo West Wing.”

But then I found that this “murder mystery plus recipe book” didn’t stop with this series. There were TONS of them to be found on Amazon and the pun titles were abundant. Double Truffle? Prime Cut? The Main Corpse? Chopping Spree?

Spaghetti with Murder?

Needless to say, I was amazed. And I decided that I needed to cash in on this book-combining thing. There’s money to be made goddammit, and I need to be the one to make it.

So here’s four pitches for ongoing series:

Comedy Middle Ages Adventure

Lester is a failing stand-up comic from Southern California. After one particularly bad show, he goes to Medieval Times and drinks himself into a stupor where he gets kicked out. While sitting outside, a knight approaches him on horseback and tells Lester he is needed. When Lester awakes later, he finds himself transported to Europe in the Middle Ages where they discover he is not the valiant knight their traveler had been sent to retrieve, but a comic. Lester, when he’s not seeking the attention of the lovely maiden Jezabel, now works as a jester in King Arthur’s court, a job that seems simple enough but somehow for Lester always turns into a wacky adventure!

In the back of every book, enjoy several pages of fun jokes and tricks to tell your friends!

Sample titles: Joan of Lark, Komedy Knight.

The Handyman Horrors

Chad Ryan is a self-employed handyman who loves his work. What he doesn’t love is fixing someone’s sink and finding body parts in the garbage disposal! Chad’s life as a simple Mr. Fix-It is about to get a lot crazier but at least the new detective assigned to the case, Ms. Chase Bennett isn’t COMPLETELY giving him the brush-off.

In the back of every book, become your own self-made handyman with illustrated step-by-step instructions on lots of projects, like tiling a bathroom, building a table, or replacing a faucet. Plus tips on landscaping, stain removal, and much much more!

Sample titles: Rain Gutted, Jack of all Blades

Broadway Tailor Romance

Loretta works as tailor for Broadway plays in the city that never sleeps: NEW YORK. If only the drama stayed on the stage! Torn between her busy Wall Street husband Brian and the affections of lead actor Jared, Loretta often doesn’t know what to do but get drinks with her stage manager Sheila, except when that relationship too goes too far! And is Sheila sleeping with Brian as well? WHO KNOWS?

In the back of every book you’ll find patterns and designs for creating your own outfits, accessories and even lingerie!

Sample titles: Curtain Call Girl, Sexit Stage Left

Sci-Fi Thriller Rock

In the year 2244, space travel is a part of life and space music an even bigger part. Stax Reddi is the lead singer in the band ZANZ, the hottest act in the galaxy, but what his bandmates don’t know is that he’s also an undercover officer for the intergalactic peacekeeping force known as the IXO. They soon find out though, when a hit is put out on Stax’s life and he must follow a trail back through the slummiest parts of the galaxy to find who it is that wants him dead!

At the back of every book, find sheet music to play ZANZ’s hottest new songs. They might not sound exactly right on a normal non-space guitar, but you’ll still enjoy playing them.

Sample Titles: Rising Star, Bass: The Final Frontier

Let’s go publishing companies. You know where to find me.

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