Teach Me How to Shepard, T-Teach Me How To Shepard

I know that I just did a post about cosplaying, but this one is about me doing it, so you can laugh at me and/or with me.

If you read my other blog, Shepard, Interrupted you are familiar with Mass Effect (I hope) and my playstyle of “drink everything, all the time.” After finding out that a couple of friends were going to do some fractional ass amount of ME cosplay at PAX, I decided that I wanted to bring my idea for what Shepard would be like after a night of drinking on the Citadel, drinking in Kasumi’s room, throwing up in that glowy thing, insisting we fly to Uranus, probing it multiple times, throwing up in her shower, and finally passing out in the elevator as the door tries to close on her head, where Garrus and Miranda find her and drag her back to her cabin as she mumbles how much she loves them, to life.

The friends had made an amazing Miranda t-shirt (complete with drawn on boobs(aka “foobs”)) and an equally amazing Tali hoodie (complete with frustrating-to-draw swirls). We hit the convention on Saturday, with them mostly looking disappointed in me, as I had apparently screwed up again, but I couldn’t remember how.

The costume was a black bathrobe with an N7 patch stitched to it, an N7 tank top, heart-patterned boxer shorts, mis-matched socks, aviator sunglasses, a busted omniblade, and N7 coffee mug. I also applied an N7 tattoo to my neck, complete with blush to give it a nice “freshly gotten, regrettable decision” look. Oh, and my “Deal With It” sign.

Also my hair was ridiculously huge, and seemed to only get huger throughout the day.

I took a nap with my omni-blade for a bit.

And our efforts did get us to the front of the line to play Mass Effect 3!

Thankfully shortly after this, it was getting later in the day and time to have a bit of the hair of the varren…er..scale? fringe? weird stuff that varren have of the varren that bit me?

We got drinks.

Okay, a few drinks.

Okay a lot of drinks.

We headed to the line for a panel after this, and I was rocking a pretty healthy buzz. Around this point it became apparent that I should not be allowed to have this omni-blade, as it provided me with a distance that I felt made it acceptable for me to poke people/things/sensitive areas with it. However when someone tried to remove it from my arm, I immediately licked it and declared, “IF I LICK IT, IT’S MINE FOREVER.”

I honestly look like I am very close to checking into rehab in most of these pictures.

If someone heard that I died after seeing these, they would not be surprised.


Sassy Gay Hawke showed up, and we combined for amazing-ness.


Also we danced…well everyone else danced. I uh…ho boy…

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